Okay - well, we know your script works, but we also know that the two visual treatments of the 'same' story need to be radically different from each other, and this is where your storyboard isn't quite cutting the mustard! I think you need to look much more at a certain Mr Hitchcock's movies - the Psycho attack, the birds' attack on the town, and then later when Melanie is attacked in the attic. Your 'horror' section doesn't convey 'horror' or 'violence' - you're just showing stalks being cut by the scissors, not an expression of the violence. I don't think you've a) got enough panels to convey the violence (montage editing) and b) the actual quality of your drawing isn't helping you express the action. As part of the submission, you're asked to produce a presentation or 'client-facing' storyboard, the job of which isn't to show you're working out of your film, but to convey the experience of your film to someone 'not you'. Take another look at some of the storyboards in the 'Directing With A Pencil' presentation I gave before the screening of Psycho (in the brief/presentation folder in the FSTS folder) and really look at the professional conventions in use. Your last submission (WIM) was characterised by me constantly shoving you towards producing polished, sophisticated work, and now I'm shoving you again. I want to see more evidence that you're applying your growing life-drawing experience to the challenge of storyboarding, and likewise your classes with Justin.
In terms of your character designs - you've got this great opportunity with your grannies, but again I want to see you thinking much more about character design fundamentals - working your characters up from shapes, as opposed to simply drawing things and colouring them in. Do take a look at some of the 'how to' docs in the Character Design resources folder (again inside the FSTS folder on myUCA), and soak up some different techniques. Take a look at these examples by which to gain some confidence about 'use of shapes' and how far you can push things in terms of designing characters for animation:
Start with shapes, Sam - then work up the details etc.
In terms of an over-riding visual concept, I think you need to think a little more about where and when your story is set: in terms of originating distinctive designs, it's often helpful to pick an era and/or a geography - so for example, England in the 1950s; a decision like this gives you colour palettes, it gives you textile designs, it gives you hairstyles, it gives you... and so on; for example:
So, I don't want to have to push you towards making good, well-researched design decisions, and I don't want to push you to ensure you're always challenging your own deficit in terms of drawing experience etc. and actively taking on new techniques. Dial up the quality, dial up the ambition and look again at the true challenge of storyboarding your story! Onwards, Sam.
OGR 05/02/2016
ReplyDeleteHi Sam,
Okay - well, we know your script works, but we also know that the two visual treatments of the 'same' story need to be radically different from each other, and this is where your storyboard isn't quite cutting the mustard! I think you need to look much more at a certain Mr Hitchcock's movies - the Psycho attack, the birds' attack on the town, and then later when Melanie is attacked in the attic. Your 'horror' section doesn't convey 'horror' or 'violence' - you're just showing stalks being cut by the scissors, not an expression of the violence. I don't think you've a) got enough panels to convey the violence (montage editing) and b) the actual quality of your drawing isn't helping you express the action. As part of the submission, you're asked to produce a presentation or 'client-facing' storyboard, the job of which isn't to show you're working out of your film, but to convey the experience of your film to someone 'not you'. Take another look at some of the storyboards in the 'Directing With A Pencil' presentation I gave before the screening of Psycho (in the brief/presentation folder in the FSTS folder) and really look at the professional conventions in use. Your last submission (WIM) was characterised by me constantly shoving you towards producing polished, sophisticated work, and now I'm shoving you again. I want to see more evidence that you're applying your growing life-drawing experience to the challenge of storyboarding, and likewise your classes with Justin.
In terms of your character designs - you've got this great opportunity with your grannies, but again I want to see you thinking much more about character design fundamentals - working your characters up from shapes, as opposed to simply drawing things and colouring them in. Do take a look at some of the 'how to' docs in the Character Design resources folder (again inside the FSTS folder on myUCA), and soak up some different techniques. Take a look at these examples by which to gain some confidence about 'use of shapes' and how far you can push things in terms of designing characters for animation:
http://40.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lol0r2wi6Z1qdzleqo1_1280.png
https://i.ytimg.com/vi/X2Eiz4Cr8A0/maxresdefault.jpg
http://40.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lol0z1RrYv1qdzleqo1_1280.png
Start with shapes, Sam - then work up the details etc.
In terms of an over-riding visual concept, I think you need to think a little more about where and when your story is set: in terms of originating distinctive designs, it's often helpful to pick an era and/or a geography - so for example, England in the 1950s; a decision like this gives you colour palettes, it gives you textile designs, it gives you hairstyles, it gives you... and so on; for example:
http://www.durhamintime.org.uk/tudhoe/images/images/large/page%20bank/page-bank-wi-1950's.jpg
So, I don't want to have to push you towards making good, well-researched design decisions, and I don't want to push you to ensure you're always challenging your own deficit in terms of drawing experience etc. and actively taking on new techniques. Dial up the quality, dial up the ambition and look again at the true challenge of storyboarding your story! Onwards, Sam.